Dhanushkodi
Land’s end. Twenty meters wide. White sand littered with sea debris, coconut husks and dead turtle shells. Invisible Sri Lanka and the bridge of Rama. The sun is high above the horizon and is beating down mercilessly on a gaggle of pilgrims, curious tourists and me. The sea on both sides is brilliantly blue and sprays a fine salty mist across everything. Loud chants of prayer from twenty feet behind, but I am lost. Thinking about something. Thinking about nothing. The sea roars its silence.
I turn back and the ramshackle tea shop is doing roaring business. “We fish and we run this shop, aiyya. We don’t earn more than three thousand a month.”
The long walk back begins. Anjaneya is the omnipresent guide who points in the right direction. The sea is rough now and the waves are kicking up to my knees, but the water is cool and I keep the feet pointing in the right direction. More dead turtles. More shells of decayed boats. A splash of orange on the hull breaking the monotony of blue and white. The dunes rise and fall and I with them. The going gets tough. Sand in my feet, my hair, my ears and my nose. Crabs hoping to gnaw on a toe wound. Why am I doing this? No answer.
Coming up on Dhanushkodi. 5km in. 5 more to go. 20 huts on stilts, covered in palm fronds. “We’ve moved 5 times in the last few years. The sea and sand refuse to stay still.” The hump of the road, once bearing the railway is visible. “All gone, aiyya. Long before I was born.” The broken down water tank, the shattered ferry office and the thorn covered platform. Reminders of that terrible night in 1964.
Walk on. More sea, more sand, more dead turtles and star fish. Wading through ankle deep black muck. Sea shit? My lengthening shadow mocks me. Mocks my life, my lack of confidence, my failures, my insecurities, my pain. Pitch black and brooding. Zig-zag to shake it, but its size and deformed grotesqueness increases. Sigh.
7.2 km in. A dead shark. A dead horse. Who killed whom? Who won? Why?
10km. Munram Chattaram. At last. Dosai, fish curry and tea.
I went in search of answers. But perhaps learnt to ask better questions.
