I am a typography nerd and I think fonts are the next best thing to sliced bread. Roughly a month ago, at the office of my therapist, I was pottering around on Google Fonts (this is what type nerds do, they browse catalogs to calm their anxieties and navigate the unknown).
Scrolling and filtering, I noticed a beautiful monospace family called Space Mono. The “y” caught my eye the first, straight backed and a stem that broke off almost at a right angle. Then came the serif-ed “a” and an “R” so quirky it felt someone had smashed its lower half with an heavy blow.
So of course I had to use it for some project.
Two years ago I wrote “Fin” on my old Tumblr site and deleted everything I posted. I’d grown tired of writing and I’d grown tired of the dopamine hits of the reblogs and retweets and the reposts. I’ve always approached my writing and photography (however mediocre and ineffectual) as a craft. Something to be learned and nurtured. Something to be practiced with care and attention. The endless algorithmic feed of junk was a distraction. (It’s funny how we end up blaming the algorithm given that we give it permission first, choose what it sees and help it grow.)
In the two years since then, I’ve written – privately and mostly for myself and to a few friends. I’ve weaned myself off the constant humdrum of social media, learned to dissociate myself from things that I can have no immediate control over and generally be a recluse. I’ve grown quieter and learned to like the quiet.
For the past few months, I’ve once again been wanting to carve out a space for myself on the Internet. But this time around, a space I own and control fully. A space without the distractions, a space in which I can express myself with the quiet that I’ve discovered.
This is that space. Given fresh wings by Space Mono.
Will this quiet last and will I give up like the last time? I don’t know, we’ll see.
New Things, Old Things
I’ve been in a persistent episode of my depression last few weeks, so despite the enthusiastic egging on from Space Mono, I’ve hardly spent time “writing” anything new. The writing is in quotes because while I’ve been putting text to paper and screen, none of it is as essay or an article or what everyone call these days “longform”. I’ve been captioning my photographs. Some in great detail, some aided by quoted poetry and some by my own.
I’ve been photographing a lot more because it forces me to step out into the world and engage with it, despite the push back from my depression and anxiety. And writing words for my photographs is easier because it expects no strict adherence to form. At this point, I crave this liberation more than anything else.
So for now, there will be a lot more photographs than texts. What texts there are, are from the old site, reread, revisited and edited a bit. Many of the photographs are also not new, especially for those who follow me on Instagram, but I am hoping that the release from the contraints of a small screen will give them new life. I am also going to take this opportunity to post more of my photographs here than Instagram.
I’ve been writing and building this place for a couple of weeks now. And I like this new quiet place of mine. I hope you do too.